Thursday, July 18, 2024

Washington State: A valiant stronghold of anti-racism and social justice under threat from MAGA hordes

Washington – the state, not the city, though it’s true of both – has a proud tradition of democratic governance.

A Democrat governor has squatted in the governor’s mansion in Olympia for the last 37 years. There has been at least one Democrat senator from Washington for the last 35 years. The last 30 of those years, one of the two seats has been held by the current incumbent, Patty Murray.

Yes, Patty Murray was first elected in 1992. She’s been there that long.

It’s an avowed democrat bastion of equality, anti-racism, and “no whites allowed” spaces.

Yet, as the latest numbers show, the dark clouds of right-wing disturbance are gathering on the horizon.

After 30 years of “your stuff is my stuff,” “I’m from the government-give me your stuff” and ” republicans are the reason you have no stuff ” Murray’s Senate seat has been reclassified from democrat to “leaning democrat” by the Cook Political Report.

And now the pro-MAGA, trumpazoid republican is within 3 points of taking a senate seat from the hipster capital of the United States.

In related news, the cooling front is hitting Hell and its capital District of Columbia with an unprecedented ferocity generating a litany of complaints from the lord of darkness himself and the multitude of congressional staffers.

Let’s take a closer look at this electoral match-up and the circumstances that bring us this upheaval.

In the blue corner, the reigning champion, the official office placeholder of the last 30 years, Patty “The Lockdown Queen” Murray!

Patty came into the political arena with one clear and simple goal in mind- a dream to establish preschool education for each and every child in Washington State.

Five terms, 30 years, and $1,314,000 in per diem payments later, Patty is fighting hard in hopes of establishing free preschool education for each and every child in Washington State.

Her main opponents seem to be the unenlightened and undereducated parents who terrorize the educational system with their insistence on knowing what their children are learning.

In what little free time Patty has in her struggle (that will pay off, I just know it) establishing preschool brainwashing centers. Patty proved to be one of the most reliable party-line voters, proudly supporting each and every socialist attempt to bring her constituents back to the cozy, safe fold of the Neo-feudalistic fascism that the ungrateful American founders rebelled against.

She is also the democrat party’s fundraiser, raising more money for the coffers of the party than any other race/class influencer in history, handily beating previous records set by wholesome duet of Sharpton and Jackson .

Patty is a hardcore supporter of the thin blue line-when recently she came to realize the strain our heroes are under in these dangerous times. She championed the new, more inclusive, and progressive crime-fighting approach in the principal city of the Evergreen State. Police forces in Seattle and surrounding areas have stopped investigating cases of rape and sexual assault, as well as prosecution of the brave activists of Antifa, Black Lives Matter, and their various supporters. Add to that the 18 % budget cut implemented this year and you can palpably feel the excitement in our law enforcement community.

Patty is also very active in promoting the rights of LGBTQUIR+4$$$=37 community and is on the front line of the resistance to the disrupting influence of the American Capitalistic Empire culminating in Patty’s recent statement about the fellow traveler and human rights champion Osama Bin Laden

[Bin Laden] has been out in these countries for decades, building schools, building roads, building infrastructure, building day-care facilities, building health-care facilities, and the people are extremely grateful. He’s made their lives better.”.

And in the red corner, we have an intrepid upstart, nurse Tiffany Smiley.

Tiffany is a well know MAGA terrorist and a supporter of the dark one whose name must not be spoken.

Her husband has spent multiple years overseas killing brown people and stealing their oil on behalf of the racist empire of the United States.

Tiffany’s life is an active, violent attack on every value the residents of Washington hold dear.

Her parents operated an active dairy farm, destroying our environment with cow flatulence and oppressing our bovine brothers, sisters, and trans-herbivores.

Being a committed chauvinist, Tiffany could barely wait to graduate high school before she proceeded to betray the woman-folx with her willing participation in the misogynistic ritual of a “marriage” to her high school sweetheart (who is neither BIPOC nor trans anything), thus perpetuating the white patriarchal culture.

But being a racist and a homophobe is not enough for Tiffany.

Soon after her marriage, she proceeded to have multiple white, male children (none of whom identifies as anything but he/him), actively supporting the culture of toxic masculinity and anti-mother-earthiness.

Ms. Smiley( if that’s her real name ) has virtually no experience working in the government.

She also has, while operating as a triage nurse, reportedly asked questions about the settled science of masking and the effectiveness of the COVID-19 vaccinations.

Now, to the regret of enlightened peoplx everywhere, Washington is not as evolved as the glorious socialist republic of California, and in Washington medical professionals are still allowed to keep their certifications and practice medicine (this monster is out there, working with children. Children!) when they dare to question the state-approved narrative.

Hopefully, with the upcoming 6th coronation of Ms. Murray that will change – we must exterminate the subversive element in our mist to ensure a brighter, more equal tomorrow!

Unfortunately, there are no public speeches by Ms. Smiley on the record that can be quoted to expose the dark recesses of her regressive soul which makes us wonder-what evil, cannibalistic thoughts and intentions is she hiding.

The third, and let’s be a frank-deciding element in the upcoming November elections is Washington’s electoral system.

Washington State is using a more progressive electoral approach, eschewing the outdated primaries and putting two candidates with the most votes on the ballot -regardless of party affiliation.

A similar system, recently adopted in Alaska allowed the freedom-fighting democrat bravely overcome dark republican forces even after 60 percent of the population voted for the Republican candidates to win the state’s House seat in a special election.

But with the dark Republican forces gathering, the national economy teetering on the edge of collapse, illegal immigration and crime escalating and a general discontent among the people coloring the discourse, the glorious reign of Queen Patty is under threat.

Will she survive this dire menace? One can only pray to Gaia for deliverance.