Monday, November 28, 2022
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California tries to entice Cali Texans to move back



California has definitely set the bar high when it comes to enticing people to leave the state in a mass exodus. 

Calexit checks off all of the boxes, from having a dangerous homeless population, to poop on the streets, to runaway looting of retail establishments (and their quick closures), to housing prices through the moon, to the insane amount of taxes on pretty much everything. If I was writing this article in California I might have to pay a tax on every word that I write.

Not surprisingly, California has lost a lot of its citizens to Texas.

California prides itself on being a liberal sanctuary, you know. That it would lose people to the strongly conservative state of Texas (minus the proudly weird city of Austin, obviously) has to be galling to Gov. Gavin Newsom and the rest of the state’s ruling elite. I’m just the average man but it’s clear to me that conservative-run states are doing better than their democratic liberal counterparts. And considering the opinion the lefty leadership seems to have of folks on the right, well…

Not much joy in Mudville, to be sure.  

Look at Democrat paradise cities San Francisco, Portland, and Seattle which are now overrun with crime and homelessness. Even Third World countries are sympathizing. If they keep going down this path eventually they’re going to lose their city status and just be known as huge outdoor public restrooms.

San Francisco, for example literally have a government crew whose only job is to clean up feces from the streets. I would assume that it takes some genius marketing when trying to convince taxpayers that it’s OK for their money to be used as literal toilet paper for the sidewalks. And speaking of toilets in San Francisco

The latest construction project straining San Francisco’s city budget? A single-stall public restroom that’s expected to cost an eye-popping $1.7 million to build.

Last Wednesday, the San Francisco Chronicle reported that a new, 150-square-foot public restroom in central San Francisco’s Noe Valley was expected to cost $1.7 million by its completion in 2025. The story sparked outrage from local citizens and state officials alike who balked at the high price tag. While city officials have attempted to chalk up the price to high construction costs, the shockingly expensive budget estimate for one restroom shows the pitfalls of a city where construction is nigh impossible—and the local government is more than willing to overspend.

How did the $1.7 million figure get estimated? Well, according to San Francisco Assembly member Matt Haney (D–San Francisco), who secured the funding, he went with the figure that the Recreation and Parks Department gave him. “They told me $1.7 million, and I got $1.7 million,” Haney told the Chronicle. “I didn’t have the option of bringing home less of the bacon when it comes to building a toilet. A half a toilet or a toilet-maybe-someday is not much use to anyone.”

Yeah, definitely poop in the street. It’s cheaper.

Back to today’s topic – the state of California is using a huge marketing campaign to try and entice its people to come back.

It was reported in the news that Governor Newsom, who has been so successful running what used to be the Golden State (is it the Golden Stream State now?) that he’s gearing up to run for president in 2024, used taxpayers’ money to rent a billboard in the state of Texas and advertised that people can come to California to get an abortion.

That’s no joke. Look…

The Governor even stated that he wants to encourage people to move back and that he will do whatever it takes. This would be like if the titanic had already sunk and they were still trying to sell tickets for the cruise. 

But as we all know never to underestimate the Californian when it comes to slogan marketing. After some lackluster research, we found out that California is rumored to release a few more marketing campaigns. We were lucky enough to get our hands on a few of them and give you a preview of what possibly might be released.

Slogans to entice people back to Cali…

  • We gave a Kardashian kid a law degree! Anything is possible in California!
  • California: where our good vibes spread like wildfire – literally. 
  • If you like living in your car this is the state for you. 
  • We can sell you weed. Let’s see Texas do that! 
  • Where gas prices flow like water! 
  • California! You don’t have to live here physically, but maybe more on a tax level?
  • We might not have Texas Rangers, but we can film a reality show about them! 
  • You don’t need to buy our expensive property just put up a tent anywhere you like!
  • Move back and Governor Newsom will share his hair care remedies with you. Free!
  • California! Bring your tears; we need the water.