Sunday, May 19, 2024

Confused Kyrie wants Joe to ‘do his job’ and spring Brittney Griner

Kyrie Irving, a man who plays with a ball for a living and routinely asserts that the Earth is flat, wants Joe Biden to ‘do his job’ and arrange to have Brittney Griner freed from a Russian prison.

“The big picture that’s going on in the world is free our sister, Brittney Griner, please. Please, POTUS, do your job. Everybody do your job. Please bring our sister home,” Irving pleaded as he addressed the crowd before his Brooklyn Nets’ NBA home opener at the Barclays Center on Wednesday.

Really? This is his idea of the most important thing that’s going on in the world? Sorry, Kyrie, I think there are only about a zillion more important things for us to concern ourselves with.

This demand that the president “do his job,” by the way, comes from the same Irving who essentially refused to do his own job (bounce ball, throw ball) last year by getting himself banned from playing in games on the Nets’ home court over his continued refusal to get a COVID-19 jab. I’m sure his teammates, coaches and team ownership really appreciated that – though the league’s insistence on an experimental and largely ineffective vaccine which has demonstrated rather frightening health effects on young males makes Irving’s position not at all outlandish.

And besides, Kyrie, you’re wasting your breath. Joe Biden doesn’t carry that kind of sway with Vlad the Invader. If he did, Griner would have already been home by now, having been exchanged for Russia’s top-ranked illegal arms dealer. The suggestion that this was all just a big misunderstanding was made by Biden and others back in July. Bringing illegal drugs into Russia is no big deal, right? Right? Putin laughed. Since then, crickets.

Secondly, the more these self-important athletes and celebrities insist that Griner be freed, the longer it’s going to take. As they have stated explicitly, Russian officials do not take kindly to Americans, of all people, telling them how to run their judicial system. Or that they should take pity on a black, lesbian American (not their favorite demographic at all) who nonchalantly tried to bring cannabis into their country. And why should they? It’s their country, their laws. Do the crime and you can rest assured, you’ll do the time. For a long time. 

So, sorry … not sorry, Brittney, Kyrie, Stephan and Lebron and the rest of you arrogant dribblers who keep insisting all this is such a big travesty — the race card does not work in Russia. American Express no longer works there either and last time I checked, there is no such thing as a Russian Express or a get-out-of-jail-free card for drug-smuggling Americans.

See you in about nine years, Brittney. Enjoy not hearing our national anthem which you refuse to stand for.