Chicago Needs To Elect A Plunger As Mayor To Unclog Their Toilet Of A City
What is it about Chicago Mayors? I mean really, how bad do things have to get before they elect someone that understands the rule of law? The last one Lori Lightfoot, who now has a new gig haunting houses, oversaw a city that had 800 murders in 2021, the most in 25 years, and 770 more in 2022.
In the last election there were nine candidates running for mayor. I’m betting they all arrived in one car, red noses flashing and ooga horns blasting. When the last oversized bowtie stopped spinning, Brandon Johnson, yet another liberal Democrat, emerged from the big tent victorious.
Under Lightfoot overall crime increased by 47 percent. Through the first 2-1/2 months of 2023 crime has increased another 47 percent. The numbers are staggering. 3,452 thefts, 92 murders, 363 shooting incidents, 384 sexual assaults and 1,718 robberies. Overall there have been 13,935 crimes committed in the city and those statistics are only through March 12th.
Earlier this month, Johnson blamed the crime and poverty within the city on corporations in the state of Illinois. Without citing any sources, Johnson claims that 70 percent of businesses don’t pay corporate taxes. This is a typical liberal reaction. It couldn’t be your “progressive” revolving door criminal system or the “woke” social decisions that sicken your citizens, no it’s easier to blame the businesses. Speaking of businesses, last year the richest man in the state, Ken Griffin, moved his family and both of his billion-dollar firms, Citadel and Citadel Securities to Miami. On his way out, Griffin also spoke out against the Chicago school system for pushing “woke ideology” on his kids. By the way, Griffin’s estimated worth is around $30 billion dollars.
This past weekend, hundreds of teenagers descended on Chicago, with malice in their hearts. Damaging and torching cars, breaking windows, attacking innocent citizens, and creating general havoc. Two teenagers were shot, although fortunately there were no fatalities.
Responding to the riot, Johnson refused to place blame on the teenagers involved, instead he released the following statement:
“In no way do I condone the destructive activity that we saw in the Loop and lakefront this weekend. It is unacceptable and has no place in our city. However, it is not constructive to demonize youth who have otherwise been starved of opportunities in their own communities.”
“Our city must work together to create spaces for youth to gather safely and responsibly, under adult guidance and supervision, to ensure that every part of our city remains welcome for both residence and visitors. This is one aspect of my comprehensive approach to improve public safety and make Chicago livable for everyone.”
Is there a more overused political phrase than “my comprehensive approach?” There have been millions upon millions of children worldwide that haven’t had good childhoods. That doesn’t give even one of them the right to injure innocent people, or to vandalize property that isn’t theirs.
Just last week, Wal-Mart announced they are closing four Chicago stores, because they can no longer justify the losses which have skyrocketed over the last five years. The losses are the result of theft, so now law abiding citizens will be forced to do without.
Anyone, teenager, or adult, that conducts criminal activity has to be more than demonized, they need to be arrested. When violent, disruptive groups know there will be no consequences, they have no incentive to stop.
People think that Chicago is known as the “Windy City” because of the weather. That’s an old fallacy. Chicago is known as the windy city because of all of the hot air politicians espoused trying to promote the World’s Fair in 1893.
Today, Chicago has nothing to brag about. The previous inept mayor has been replaced with another inanimate object, but don’t worry, he has a “comprehensive approach” to accomplish nothing.
Since your mayors do nothing anyway, I suggest that Chicago elect a plunger as their next mayor. It’s symbolic, and think of the money that will be saved on salaries alone. No staff, except for a bucket and a few rags. No boring speeches full of empty promises, and no scandals.
Besides, a plunger is technically a tool, which is what you have now anyway.
