Nikki Haley’s Dumb and Dumber Iowa Concession Speech

From the Movie “Dumb and Dumber.”

Lloyd: “What are my chances?”

Mary: “Not good.”

Lloyd: “You mean ‘not good’ like… one out of a hundred?”

Mary: “I’d say… more like one out of a million.”

Lloyd: (slowly reacts) “So you’re telling me there’s a chance?… Yeah!!”

Prior to the 2024 campaign, Nikki Haley was a name people recognized but knew little about. On paper, her resume was impressive. She was elected to Congress and served two terms as governor before becoming the ambassador to the United Nations. As a woman who is the daughter of immigrants from India, the media treated Haley with grudging respect, and most voters had a favorable impression of her.

Yet, any Republican seeking the nation’s highest office should expect to receive a political proctology exam from the leftist media, and Haley is no exception. She gets credit for bringing Boeing to South Carolina, and she supported a $900 million “economic development package” used to entice the defense and aerospace contractor to relocate. As governor, Haley also played a large role in securing and approving a $120 million package Boeing used to expand their facilities in South Carolina.

Okay, that just sounds like a governor bringing jobs and economic prosperity to her state, right?

Except, somehow, she left office in 2017 with less than $15,000 in assets but has amassed a $12 million fortune since then.

How did she do it?

Is it a coincidence that her personal wealth exploded when she accepted a seat on the board of Boeing for $300k per year and took a position with a secretive advocacy group called United Against a Nuclear Iran?

You might say, “no big deal,” that’s how it’s done in politics.

And that is exactly the point.

Neocons, Never Trumpers and the Republican Establishment Flock to Haley

Because she is considered a friend to the military industrial complex, neocons, RINOs and never Trumpers coronated Haley as the next George Bush clone when it became apparent that Ron DeSantis was a drab, unappealing candidate who wouldn’t do their bidding. Policy wise, DeSantis is more like Trump, with a lot less charisma.

Money from the donor class began pouring in, and overnight, Haley became the leading alternative to the former president. The Republican establishment still hopes that Trump will either be barred from running, or his supporters will abandon him if he’s convicted of any one of the 91 fake indictments brought against him by woke leftists.

As a result of the big donor money and the artificial hype, people actually started to listen to Haley, and she’s revealed a number of extremely unappealing qualities that were amplified in her Iowa victory, er, concession speech.

Haley has committed a number of inexplicable gaffes, stumbling on the campaign trail with bizarre takes on internet surveillance and slavery, but there something much more disturbing about her delivery and demeanor.

In essence, Haley is an annoying public speaker.

When listening to her speech after the Iowa caucuses, my mind was flooded with memories of Al Gore in 2000. The same slow, drawn-out speech patterns that always gave the impression Gore thought he was talking to children with limited mental processing capacity. Maybe that was appropriate for his audience of woke leftists, but Haley is speaking to a much more politically aware group. As one listens to her droning on, the urge is to grab her by the shoulders and remind her to talk to us like adults. “Nikki, stop speaking to us like a kindergarten teacher!”

These annoying verbal mannerisms, coupled with Dumb and Dumber optimism, were on full display during her Iowa speech, especially when Haley revealed this gem of wisdom:

“The pundits will analyze the results from every angle. We get that. But when you look at how we’re doing in New Hampshire, South Carolina and beyond, I can safely say, tonight, Iowa made this Republican primary a two-person race.”

Say what?

My first impression was confusion. Was Haley dropping out and endorsing DeSantis? Maybe someone gave her bogus caucus numbers. After all, she came in third out of four candidates.

Not first; not second… She came in third, but it seemed like she was one droning sentence away from declaring herself the victor in Iowa. I was immediately reminded of the classic scene in Dumb and Dumber. Her odds may be a million to one, but hey, that means she has a chance, and for Haley, it’s now a two-person horse race for the nomination.

Unbelievable.

I understand politicians make a living off spin and lying, but this takes putting lipstick on a pig to a new level. Donald Trump received over 50% of the vote, and DeSantis and Haley together didn’t get enough votes to surpass Trump. Despite all the time and money Haley spent in Iowa, she couldn’t even overtake DeSantis, whose own campaign is running on fumes.

Haley’s Hoping for a Bad Outcome for Trump

If their true goal is to supplant Biden in November, it’s clear that both Haley and DeSantis should withdraw from the race and declare their support for Trump. It seems like DeSantis sees the writing on the wall, and no one should be surprised if he suspends his campaign after he does poorly in South Carolina. However, I have a hunch Haley will soldier on, continuing to rake in cash from deep pocket establishment Republicans in the shadows, crossing their fingers and hoping that something bad happens to Trump.

The next line in the sand for woke leftists is a Trump conviction, which seems inevitable. The left is hoping that polls showing Trump losing significant support if convicted of a felony are accurate. Then again, the polls said the indictments would end Trump’s candidacy, but the only thing they did was raise his popularity.

It must feel a little slimy hanging around like a vulture on a utility pole, hoping that a calamity befalls your opponent. But that’s all Haley and the Republican donor class has left. Her campaign was doomed before it started. They have yet to let the reality sink in, but the Republican party now belongs to the working class, and there’s nothing the defense industry or the Wall Street investment banking community can do to change that.

Haley can declare herself the presumptive nominee if she wants to, but it will be Donald J Trump on the ballot in November.