“Strangling Chickens” At The Home Run Derby

I didn’t watch the home run derby last night, and I woke up this morning with some sort of stomach bug. I mention this because I literally can’t remember the last time I had a cold. I’m blessed; I never get sick.

I also love baseball, and I will be watching the All-Star game tonight. Especially since Paul Skenes of my beloved Pittsburgh Pirates will be the starting pitcher for the National League as a rookie.

So, in my weak state this morning, I turned on the TV just as a national sports show discussed the National Anthem. They then proceeded to play the tape. Let me warn you if you haven’t heard it, do yourself a favor and skip it. I wasn’t looking at the TV at the time, but what I heard was similar to strangling a chicken or a catfight.

Until last night, the worst National Anthems on record were screamed by Rosanne Barr and Fergie, who decided she would slow it down and try to jazz it up, much to the chagrin of everyone within earshot. IMHO, last night’s version split the other two. Barr’s is still the worst, but Fergie got bumped up a notch from second worst to third worst.

Last night’s version was performed by country singer Ingrid Andres, a 32-year-old with four Grammy nominations. While the tape was being played, my wife walked into the room and asked, “What is that?” When I told her that it was the National Anthem, she said, “It sounds like she’s on drugs.”

It was so bad that several players desperately tried not to laugh. This was truly cringe-worthy. It was one of those times when you felt personal embarrassment for her, even while sitting at home.

A short while ago, my wife’s suspicions were confirmed. Andres revealed that she was drunk during her performance last night. She also said she would be “checking myself into a facility today to get the help I need.”

“I’m not gonna bulls–t y’all; I was drunk last night,” Andress said in a statement on social media. “I’m checking myself into a facility today to get the help I need. That was not me last night. I apologize to MLB, all the fans, and this country I love so much for that rendition. I’ll let y’all know how rehab is. I hear it’s super fun.”

She signed off her message with, “XO, Ingrid.”

I admire Andres for stepping up and admitting that she has a problem. I also applaud her for taking steps by going on record that she was checking into a facility. Still, that last line bothers me. By saying, “I’ll let y’all know how rehab is. I hear it’s super fun,” it doesn’t sound like she is really taking this seriously.

It reminds me of a conversation between Tom Hanks and his press secretary in the movie Charlie Wilson’s War. (By the way, if you haven’t seen this movie, find it and watch it; you won’t be disappointed.)

Charlie’s Angel #4: The Washington Post wants to know what you thought of your time in rehab.

Charlie Wilson: And what did you tell them?

Charlie’s Angel #4: That the Congressman didn’t go to rehab because they don’t serve whiskey there.

Charlie Wilson: That’s why you’re my press secretary, boo-boo!

I pray that Andres successfully completes her rehab and has a great life. I also pray that she gets another opportunity to sing the anthem so she can show the world how good she really is.

After all, the one thing that makes our country great is the idea of second chances.

Good Luck, Ingrid, and God Bless!