Thursday, June 20, 2024
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New Ashley Madison Doc Points to Major Problems with American Christians



This week Netflix released a three-part documentary about the rise and fall of Ashley Madison, the sleazy website that purported to help unhappily married men commit adultery.

I watched it. At the end, I drew conclusions, of which you and certain other readers may vehemently disagree. But please hear me out.  

My thesis: Nowadays, far too many Christian men get busted for bad behavior. These men, of course, must take responsibility for their own conduct. With that said, church leaders seem to have abdicated whatever obligations they have to help men resist temptations.

That’s likely because church leaders no longer understand men.

And so I make my case.

Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal documents how, in 2015 the website was infiltrated by hackers. Those individuals released the names of all the men (and supposedly women) who subscribed, they assumed, discretely.

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The documentary profiles three married men who joined.  

Of those three men, two were devout Christians. The third man was in an open marriage. I’ll focus on the two Christians.

The first man was a vlogger in Dallas, Texas and was already a public figure who was open about his faith. When the man wasn’t acting out his perversions online, he uploaded videos of him and his wife singing Disney movie showtunes (not to judge too harshly, but that’s not exactly the kind of behavior that will earn you a Man Card).

The other man was a New Orleans pastor. Six days after the data leak, he committed suicide.

The church failed both men (and others like them).

Without something to reign men in, like Christian morality, we are, more or less, nothing but a bunch of Genghis Khans or Genghis Khan-wannabes. We have testosterone. We have sex drives. Some men learn to reign in these impulses. Some men never learn.

Anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line you will find more Southern Baptist churches than you will Catholic ones. I cannot account for what goes on with Catholics (as I am not one). So, for these purposes, I refer only to Protestants.

The reason fewer men attend church today is because men by nature are preoccupied with concepts of good vs. evil, while women by nature are preoccupied with…well…self-esteem and other emotional needs.

And the modern-day church is feminized and caters too much to women. The problem goes beyond that. Church leaders spend too much time putting on dog and pony shows and other theatrics. Two-thirds of church services now are more about music and less about sermons. Church is now a Broadway musical, put on by people who care more about costumes, choreography, and pageantry.

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To repeat what I said above, church leaders clearly don’t understand men.

I am not the only one who says this. Religious scholars have written countless books about this subject and documented how far fewer men attend church in contemporary America.

Churches don’t do a good enough job instructing men starting from childhood. Then factor into account all of the men who have abandoned their children. There are no men around to stabilize their sons and set good examples.

But the men in this documentary were churchgoing Christians.

And that’s why we have so many men today who are lost. Even men who rank high in the church secretly look at porn. They subscribe to Ashley Madison. They have affairs and/or sexually abuse women or children.

Again, men are responsible for their own conduct. But for the men who grew up in the church or still attend it, I argue they feel out of place.

Men must stand up two-thirds of the time to sing girly music (and, no, I am not referring to more traditional hymns like Amazing Grace).

What’s a better use of men’s time? How about listening to a thoughtful sermon about defeating evil or controlling our wicked impulses?

Church leaders don’t spend enough time shoring up young men for all of the temptations they will face as adults. These are temptations for which women generally are not susceptible. And that’s precisely why so many men in the church continue to fall short when it comes to their marriage vows.

Men and women are wildly different from one another.

And until and unless church leaders recognize that fact then more men of faith will continue to get busted for very un-Christian behavior, and it will go beyond Ashley Madison. More churches might shut down during the next two to three decades. More people will think less of Christians due to the hypocrisy.

Maybe it’s time for church leaders to reassess.

Maybe it’s time for church leaders to reprioritize?

Special thanks to Warhammer’s Wife proofreading this story before publication to make certain there were no misspellings, grammatical errors or other embarrassing mistakes and/or typosFollow Warhammer on Twitter @Real_Warhammer. Also follow Warhammer on TruthSocial at @Real_Warhammer