Are Drug Cartels and Organized Crime Secretly Running America? (And Nine Other Random Thoughts)

Random thoughts concerning the past month: 

• When I do my federal taxes this week can I claim the president of Ukraine as a dependent? 

• Before too long, society won’t need psychiatrists anymore because there’s no behaviors or thoughts that we won’t consider abnormal. 

• I always spray Lysol whenever I meet anybody who likes adult Japanese anime and/or goes to My Little Pony conventions. 

• If a gun control activist crosses the street without looking both ways and I accidentally hit him….is it my fault? Or my truck’s fault? 

• I sat in a doctor’s waiting room last week and talked to a guy who said he makes $80,000 a year but saves money on groceries by buying food stamps from welfare recipients. 

• Two-thirds of the politicians in Washington, D.C. vote like they get most of their campaign donations from drug cartels and other forms of organized crime. That show Ozark probably wasn’t a work of fiction.

• Contemporary music isn’t really music. It’s just a bunch of lip-synched choreography that entertains screaming banshees with low standards in search of a dopamine fix. To quote Waylon Jennings, “I don’t believe Hank would have done it this way.” 

• I sure do wish Hillary Clinton was half as angry at her husband for sleeping with every skank from the south side of Little Rock as she is at all the people who didn’t vote for her in 2016. 

• General George Patton was crude, obnoxious, a prima donna, an adulterer, and an extreme narcissist, but without him it’s highly likely World War II would have gone on another two to three years. Who knows for sure if the Allies would have even defeated Germany without him. Thousands if not millions more people would have died. Patton cared more about results than people’s feelings. Sometimes people who aren’t so nice get the job done, while people who are nice don’t. That’s why so many people who would otherwise dislike Donald Trump personally are rooting for him to win in November. 

• If Nikki Haley is somehow the Republican presidential nominee this year then I will not vote for this woman out of principle. Her Twitter feed is disgusting and contemptuous toward the Make America Great Again movement. We have a corrupt legal system that abuses its powers to try to ruin Trump’s business and finances and even put him in prison. This woman won’t condemn any of it and instead uses it as an excuse to try to get people to vote for her. Never mind the fact that her campaign is primarily bankrolled by wealthy Democrats.  

Special thanks to Warhammer’s Wife for proofreading this story before publication to make certain there were no misspellings, grammatical errors or other embarrassing mistakes and/or typos. Follow Warhammer on Twitter (or is it X Now?) @Real_Warhammer