Mark Carney At Davos Is Our New Political Low

I used to get annoyed when people fell for Tony Blair or Obama. It always amazed me that there were people who thought they were great and fell for their crap.

Especially when they had such obvious tells.

Blair would always say something like “you know, and I’m being completely open and honest on this…”. before his most outrageous lies. He gave everyone a little warning that he was about to be a massive cunt, every time.

And then after the biggest lie he’d do a little shit-eating smile, maybe even a rueful laugh, as if even he couldn’t believe people were stupid enough to agree with him.

He was always like a conman who was slightly disappointed that people made it so easy for him. He was to political lying like a tired old tennis pro knocking the ball about with bored wealthy housewives he might or might not bother to sleep with.

And Obama was similar. It was too easy. You could see it in the darting watchful eyes. He’d roll up with a “folks, I’m going to give it to you straight…” sort of line that was even more obvious than Blair. Always “folks” or “guys”. Always the grinning fake self deprecation, which was so very slight, just a nod, ‘you folks know I’m not the best at this, but I’ll give it a try…” followed by some polished routine he’d been practising for months. The guy who would ‘spontaneously’ sing a song at a stranger’s wedding, then hand out pre-printed business cards.

Fake smiles plastered over howling voids.

I used to think ‘how are people this bloody stupid? You like this guy? He’s practically telling you he’s a villain with every movement. What are you, blind? You think that’s what sincerity and honesty and decency looks like? THAT?’.

But then time rolled on and people told me Biden was smart and focused like a laser. I’d seen the man had totally black eyes like a terrifying demon from a horror movie. And all he could do was lick ice cream and fondle kids.

You like THAT?

And then they told me that a cackling drunk who could turn the Gettysburg Address vapid was even smarter and even more focused.

And then they told me Tim Walz was a man’s man and a rugged outdoors type and I thought OK, this cannot, just cannot, sink any lower.

But I was wrong.

There is somewhere to go more ridiculous than ‘Tim Walz is a rugged macho hero’.

And that place is: ‘Mark Carney delivered one of the greatest speeches ever given, it was so wise, and pragmatic, and thoughtful. It really did say everything that needed saying. Thank goodness there are people still with that integrity and insight telling it like it is.’

Now unless you put a man on a stage raping a goat and tell me that’s High Culture, you aren’t going to top ‘Mark Carney is a great orator’ for sheer, unadulterated mental illness.

There is no bigger bottle of delusion after that.