What’s Next In The Left’s Judicial Abuse Campaign? Don’t Be Surprised If It’s This…

Editor’s Note: what follows is parody, but on the other hand things have become so absurd that a federal judge has ordered a halt to efforts to stop non-citizens from voting in federal elections, so maybe Daniel Jupp is making predictions rather than satire after all…

A Democrat federal court judge has ordered Trump to identify as a woman.

“The President is hereby ordered to with immediate effect take on all the characteristics and behaviours of a transvestite or transsexual. The President shall forebear from the wearing of any clothing traditionally considered male, and shall exclusively select his clothing from the fetish and female categories of the approved retailers determined by this court (an approved list is attached).

Furthermore the President is ordered to wear his hair in such a way as to mimic a known female hair style, such as an Aniston Bob, a 1960s Beehive, or any other approved and determinedly feminine style. The President has no legitimate leeway of consideration in these matters, and is constrained to employ an expensive hair stylist at public expense together with a panel of at least three Drag Queen advisors who are to oversee the day to day operation of the President’s Hair at an enormous salary from the public purse.

This newly created Department of Hair shall be assigned a budget of not less than 640 million US dollars per year, may choose to employ any number of additional staff as they see fit, must be composed entirely of registered Democrats, and shall be armed with the right to shoot the President if he is found wearing a suit or returning to his distinctive, pre ruling, White Supremacist hair style.

It is not within the immediate jurisdiction of this court to determine whether the President shall merely dress as a woman or should undergo surgery and treatments to facilitate a full gender transition. Being very aware of the seperation of powers and being a court fully determined to limit ourselves to the legitimate concerns over which we have jurisdiction, the court allows the President a grace period of 21 days in which the Supreme Court can determine whether surgery is necessary or where dressing as a woman is sufficient to meet the current high standards of judicial probity and sanity.

However, the President is reminded of the total, supreme and absolute power of the lower courts, affirmed in the lower courts imaginative interpretation of the Constitution, to determine the appearance and clothing of the duly elected President. It is perfectly within the jurisdiction of the court to assert that the President is in fact female and should dress accordingly.

Executive privilege and the legitimate powers of the Presidency do not extend to the determination of policy in any area, to the operation of the government in any area, and to the President’s baseless and false claims of gender sovereignty. The President is herewith under a nationwide injunction not to ever describe himself as a man, use expressions such as “I am a man”, or in any way to comment on, criticise, discuss or deny the settled verdict of this court and the legal determination that he is a woman.

This ruling in no way impinges on the powers of the President or his capacity to enact his duties, unless one were so bigoted as to suppose that a woman cannot fulfill the responsibilities of the Presidency. This court firmly rejects transphobia, bigotry, misogyny and gender based prejudice, as expressed in the founding values of the Constitution which so wisely determined that supreme authority and power is vested solely in district court judges of the Democrat persuasion.

We advise the President that any breach of the conditions attached to this ruling will result in arrest, detainment and possibly forcible inclusion in a prison based non touring performance of Hamilton, in of course a role consistent with HER court assigned gender.”