The Failure Lounge

You know those people who said Ron DeSantis would beat Trump to the nomination and those people who said Trump could never win the election?

Those people sit in a room called The Failure Lounge. It’s absolutely packed. Every RINO is in there. All the Lincoln Project guys are there. The Koch Family sit in a corner on little thrones. Liz Cheney is there. Mitch McConnell is stretched out on a sofa and nobody is sure whether or not he’s dead, but they know it doesn’t matter either way.

Ron’s there too. Jeb Bush. You know the rest of them.

It’s heaving in there, but they have to make room. There’s a great surge, a push, there’s a new crowd coming in. Just not enough spaces. Some people are going to have to sit on each other’s laps.

Look, look, here they come to the Failure Lounge. Who are this lot?

“Trump has betrayed MAGA! Trump has got it wrong! I don’t want my sons fighting for them Wicked Jews!”

“Hello Tucker. Hello Candace. Come in, come all, you’re welcome here. But can we ask…..

What the fuck made you think you know foreign policy better than Trump? That your instincts are better than his? Were you all fucking high? Look at all these guys….didn’t you fucking notice?

OK random influencer dude I’ve never heard of, there’s a space right there, sitting next to Jeb. That’s right, on the floor.

Everyone here? Yeah, sure you’re the real MAGA….whats that sound? It’s cheering. Don’t you worry about that.

That’s for the Other Room, not the Failure Lounge. It’s nice and quiet here. Just kvetch and bullshit, kvetch and bullshit, round and round…..you’ll love it. You’ve had the practice.”